The Cid-epillar
by Karu Leonnese
Summary: Also called 'The Legend of the Butterfly'...you know you wanna see the cast as bugs...^.^ Just a lil humor whist I am updating 'Never Knew You'...one SLIGHT yaoi comment, and the TINIEST OOC and Aeris-bashing.


The Legend of the Caterpillar-MST'd  
  
Notes: This is something I had to write in class for a myth, and I decided to MST it, in a way. Not like the normal ones, but as in telling the story a bit different. It's still funny though...  
  
Once there was a caterpillar who was tired of being a caterpillar. He hated being a plain little worm.  
  
[Cid, in a little worm costume, inches his way onstage. He looks ready yo kill.]  
  
He wanted to fly. He wanted big, flashy wings, so he could glide through the air and be marvelled at by the other insects.  
  
Cid: [mutters] This is @#$%in' rediculous...[notices the authoress, spatula in hand] ...but yeah, I still wanna fly!  
  
So he decided to make some wings.  
  
Cid: Da @#$%?!  
  
Karu: [glares] Make some wings...  
  
Cid: [inches away] Uh yeah...sure thing!  
  
He went to the spider and asked him for some of his silk webbing to make them.  
  
[Vincent comes onstage in a spider costume.]  
  
Vin: [sweatdrops] I want no comments about the webbing...got it?  
  
Karu: [shrugs] Whhhaaaaaaaaaat??? [snickers]  
  
Cid: Hey Vin, can I get some spider web to make some wings?  
  
He gave the caterpillar the prettiest webbing he had, and the caterpillar thanked him.  
  
Cid: Arigato.  
  
Vin: Sure whatever...just get me out of this blasted costume...  
  
But the webbing was still too plain. It was almost transparent and white.  
  
Cid: [snickers]  
  
[Cid is mysteriously hit with a spatula]  
  
The caterpillar had to find a way to make it more colorful.  
  
Vin: [calls from offstage] Blood?  
  
Cid: Not the angle I'm lookin for Vin, but thanks anyway!  
  
So he went to the ladybug.  
  
[Shera, in a spider costume, walks into view, smiling half-heartedly.]  
  
Cid: Hey, Sher, can you help me with this? I need it bright. Like, 'Las Vegas' bright.  
  
Shera: I think I can handle it.  
  
She dipped her legs into the nectar of different colored flowers and walked all over the silk.  
  
Shera: You'd better appreciate this...the nectar stuff is sticky...  
  
Cid: ^-^  
  
Soon the thread was covered in bright colors. The caterpillar thanked her.  
  
Cid: Hey, thanks!  
  
Shera: [sticking to the ground from the nectar] Uh-huh..now can you give me a hand here?  
  
Cid: [walks on, oblivious to her]  
  
Shera: [-.-o] Thanks so much...  
  
Now he needed help sewing the thread into wings.  
  
Cid: Hm...maybe I shoulda helped Shera...she knew how to sew.  
  
Karu: [hold up a sign that reads: ***Cid failed Home Ec!***]  
  
Cid: Quiet you...  
  
He asked the ant twins to help.  
  
Cid: Oh no...  
  
[Zorn and Thorn, in dressed like ants, tumble onstage.]  
  
Zorn: We are ants!  
  
Thorn: Ants, we are!  
  
The ants took the seperate ends of the colored webbing and did a funny dance, weaving it into a pair of wings.  
  
Cid: Well, that's kinda @#$%in' cool...  
  
Zorn/Thorn: [dance]  
  
Cid: Uhh... you can stop now...  
  
Z/T: [keep dancing]  
  
Cid: [little anime puff-breath thing] Just great...  
  
Finally the caterpillar was ready to put on his flashy wings and fly!  
  
Karu: If by 'flashy' you mean 'tacky', then yeah.  
  
Cid: Quiet you...  
  
But it was too dark for him to see, so he decided to wait until the morning to fly. He went to sleep with his beautiful wings beside him.  
  
Cid: Dark? Are you kiddin'? I could fly anytime--  
  
Karu: GO TO SLEEP!!  
  
Cid: [hits the floor and starts snoring]  
  
During the night, two moths flew by.  
  
[Sephiroth and Kuja, suspended by flying harnesses, 'fly' onstage.]  
  
Sephiroth: This is beyond injustice...  
  
Kuja: [his rope stops short, and he is jerked back and forth] Yaaaaa!  
  
They saw the beautiful wings and grew jealous.  
  
Sephiroth: I do not get jealous!  
  
Karu: [points to wings] Lookit Sephy...  
  
Sephiroth: [wide-eyes] So...pretty...  
  
Kuja: Simpleton...  
  
Karu: [pulls his rope]  
  
Kuja: EEeeee!  
  
Their wings were plain and grey, not beautiful colors like the caterpillar's.  
  
Sephiroth: [pulls on his wings with his little bug hands] More of a light black actually...  
  
Kuja: [swirly eyes] I'm dizzy now mommy...stop the ride...  
  
The moths tore up the caterpillar's wings and flew off.  
  
Sephiroth: C'mon you...[flies off]  
  
Kuja: [follows in an erratic pattern] THE SPIN IS ROOMING!!  
  
Sephiroth: Just...shut up...  
  
When the caterpillar woke up and saw his wings- his beautiful wings- destroyed, he was heartbroken.  
  
Cid: @#$%^&**&^%$#@#$%^&*&^%$#@#$%^&*&^%$#@#$%^&*(*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
He was so sad, he decided to seal himself away from all the other insects.  
  
Karu: In other words, children, he's ANGSTING.  
  
Cid: That's Vin's job.  
  
Vin: [o.s] Better not steal it!!  
  
The honeybees saw what had happened and wanted to help.  
  
[Tifa and Aeris 'fly' in, wearing HoneyBee Inn uniforms.]  
  
Tifa: Not ONE comment about the HoneyBee thing...  
  
Aeris: [flies] Wheee!!!  
  
They covered the caterpillar and his tattered wings in a cocoon of sticky honey, so he could be alone.  
  
[Tifa and Aeris dump a Gatoraide cooler of honey over Cid]  
  
Cid: o.O!!!  
  
Shera: [o.s.] Now you know how I feel!!  
  
The caterpillar waited in his cocoon for many days.  
  
Cid: [hums the Highwind theme and waits.]  
  
Finally he decided it was time to come out.  
  
Karu: [sings] I'm comin' out! I want the world to know...  
  
Cid: Not like THAT!!  
  
He broke out of his honey mold to see that he had changed.  
  
Karu: He started to feel funny around girls...  
  
Cid: I'm gonna hafta hurt you, I can see...  
  
He had grown up. He now had an insect body with legs and antennas, like all grown-up caterpillars have.  
  
Karu: Buzz.....  
  
Cid: Buzz....off.  
  
But something was stuck to his back.  
  
Karu: I can't resist...was it Vincent?!  
  
[Cid and Vincent facefault and go to hit Karu.]  
  
He looked behind him to see his beatiful wings! The honey from his cocoon had stuck the torn pieces together. Then once the honey had dried, it had glued the wings to his back. The caterpillar had his wings at last!  
  
Cid: [now as a winged grown up caterpillar 'flying'] Well, I'll be #$%^ed...  
  
He soared through the sky. Past the spider.  
  
Cid: Hey Vin, lookit me!!  
  
Vin: [struggling in his costume] Very nice Highwind...did she glue the zipper on this thing?!  
  
Karu: [tilts her head] Zipper?  
  
Vin: [faints]  
  
Past the ladybug.  
  
Cid: Shera!!!!  
  
Shera: [still stuck to the ground] You get back down here and help me!  
  
Cid: Whoops! [flies off]  
  
Shera: CID!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Past the ant twins.  
  
Cid: Yee-hah!!!  
  
Zorn: He's flying!  
  
Thorn: Flying, he is!  
  
Zorn/Thorn: [do their happy dance]  
  
Cid: Eesh.  
  
Past the honeybees.  
  
Cid: You guys tried to kill me, but you actually helped!  
  
Tifa: Kill you?  
  
Aeris: We tried to help.  
  
Cid: You tried to suffocate me!  
  
Tifa/Aeris: o.O...Did not!  
  
And even past the moths.  
  
Cid: Ha ha! You mother@#$#ers tried ta keep me down!!!  
  
Sephiroth: What?! This is inexcusable!  
  
Karu: Shut up Sephy...  
  
Sephiroth: Woman! Call me Sephiroth!  
  
Kuja: Don't agitate her..she'll pull your harness rope...  
  
Cid: I win!!!  
  
He flew as fast as he could, doing tricks in the air.  
  
Cid: [does a flip] Yeah! [does another] Whoa, okay...getting dizzy here...[half flip] Lookit me now!  
  
"He cuts through the air like a knife through butter!" the spider said.  
  
Vin: That's not something I would say...  
  
Karu: Hush up...  
  
"Then that's what we'll call him!" the ladybug said, "A butterfly!"  
  
Shera: [scoffs] I really don't care what the $%^% you call him...  
  
Others: o.O...  
  
Shera: What? You live with that kind of talk, and you start to repeat it.  
  
"Yes!" the ant twins agreed.  
  
Zorn: We don't talk much, do we?  
  
Thorn: That way, it does seem.  
  
Karu: Don't take it personally guys. I love ya!  
  
Zorn: Oh, okay.  
  
Thorn: Feel special, we do!  
  
Cid: Hello?! MY time here!!  
  
The caterpillar, hearing the insects cheer, loved his new name.  
  
Cid: Actually, I kinda like Cid better...  
  
Karu: Shut up, BUTTERFLY...  
  
He was called, from that day on, a butterfly, zooming around the skies with his beautiful wings.  
  
Sephiroth: Until he was blown down by the military, thinking he was a foriegn spy...  
  
Karu: [slams Sephiroth and Kuja's heads together.]  
  
Kuja: OW!! What'd I do?!  
  
Karu: Nothing. Sorry. [slams Sephiroth and Aeris' heads together] That's better!  
  
Sephiroth: x.x  
  
Aeris: x.x  
  
The End~~~  
  
Cid: 'Bout #$%^in' time!!  
  
[Everyone gets out of their costumes and throws them at Karu, complaining (and in Shera and Cid's case, fighting) as they head offstage.  
  
Karu: [covered in costume cloth] Well.........that went well.  
  
  
  
  
  
Notes: Okay, this was strange. But I got an A on the project! Happy! I'm a senior now too! YEAH!! Uh...anyone that wants to, feel free to really MST this. I don't mind, as long as you're not too harsh on the author, like I've known some MST's to do...I'm fragile people.......  
  
~Owari! 


End file.
